The antidote to loneliness

Some times you get lucky. You’re born into a family of your kind of people. You share the same values, the same goofy sense of humour, a sense of loyalty and solidarity. You might even get lucky at school. No bullying for you. You fit in perfectly. You belong. Perhaps the good luck even stretches into adulthood and into the workplace. You join companies full of your kind of people. Your friends and neighbours are all cut from a similar cloth. Sure, you have good days and bad days just like everyone else, but overall you feel that you belong.But for those who wondered if there was a mix up at the hospital and the wrong family took them home, for those who got bullied at school for being different, for those that spent years trying to squeeze themselves into the wrong shaped hole in order to fit in at work and in society, life is not so easy. Life can be lonely.

Not far from me is a large paddock full of sheep. And one solitary Maremma dog. The dog has a noble job. He has been raised to live his whole life as a sheep so that if a fox attacks during the lambing season, the Maremma’s dog instincts will kick in and he will protect his ‘family’. My heart aches for that dog though. Every time I drive past, I see the sheep hanging out together doing sheep stuff (eating grass mainly) and that incredibly sad looking dog is sat in the middle of the paddock, all alone. The sheep know he is different. And I wonder, does he think he’s a failure because he’s not like the others? Does he judge himself for not liking grass, or for not understanding the bleats around him? Maybe. I’m sure he loves his fellow sheep, but I bet he’d feel so much better if another dog sat on the other side of the fence now and then and they could wag their tails together and chat about the joys of chasing cats and eating bones.

Maybe you’re like the Maremma? Wondering what’s wrong with you. Why you don’t fit in with all the other sheep.

Look around at the people in your life. Family, work, friends even. Do you experience difficulty relating? Does it require a lot of effort to be part of that group? Can you really be yourself? If not, you’re probably surrounded by the wrong flock.

The great news is, you don’t have to dump your current friends, or leave workplaces, or tell your family members where to go.

You can simply begin a quest to find your people.Trust me, they’re out there. And there’s a good chance they’re looking for you too. A kindred spirit who sees the world through similar eyes.

How do you find these people?

Often your interests give you a clue. Perhaps you’re a creative soul who loves photography, writing, art or music. Are you more of a thrill seeker? Or maybe you love gaming, or knitting. Do you dream of hiking through Nepal? Or would you love to learn to fly a helicopter? Or breed rare cats? No matter what you love (openly or secretly) you’ll find people who share your passion.

Now, comes the scary part. Reaching out. Join with others who share your interests online. Volunteer with the groups supporting causes you believe in. And give your heart to them. If it’s not treated with respect, simply move on, and try elsewhere. Eventually, you’ll find them. The people who accept you as you are. Keep in mind though that it can take courage to reach out to people. They might be shy to approach you. You might need to make the first move.

I absolutely love the flock I was born into. I treasure the beautiful people in my life, regardless of differences. To be surrounded by a diverse group fosters empathy and understanding. But I’m a book worm by nature so nothing brings me greater joy that connecting with other creative people. To hang out with the artists and experience their breathtaking world of colour and light, to talk about characters and plot with other writers, to listen to the talented musicians and feel that emotion/vibration connection. Wow, nothing beats that. That is life pumped directly into my heart.  They lift me up. They inspire me. They keep me going through the challenging times. And the gratitude I feel to these beautiful souls is beyond anything my words can convey.The stunning artwork above was created for me by the artist, Joe Faust. An extremely talented, and kind-hearted, fellow Piscean who is one of my kind of people. If you’d like to own one of his magnificent paintings too, you can find them here.

You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people.